Work-life balance is made, not found
…said someone who was so burnt out and considered quitting
Do you consider yourself a victim of crazy targets, gazillion deadlines, unrealistic expectations, killer boss, intolerant clients, and everything in between? Trust me, it all feels familiar to me. And I am not exaggerating, those are real. I’ve been there.
As a (relatively) new mom, in a company that is growing tremendously over the past years, with a number of inorganic movements — how can one find work-life balance, let alone create one?
Please don’t ask me about my workload — it felt impossible too many times. I need years of remedy, not only 72 hours in a day. So, I certainly, reached a point where I blamed the fact that I didn’t have a life (my daughter hated me for working so much besides the fact that I never had a me-time nor family time) to my work.
I considered quitting a few times. And there’s a reason why quitters have such negative reputation — and I think it’s because it’s so easy to quit and consider yourself free of those problems, only to find that, life is not that simple.
Only after I was struck with one conversation, that it dawned on me. Damn, I’ve been doing all these to myself. I was the one letting those workload led my life. I was the one agreeing to all the late night works, all the weekend works, till I was left with nothing but drained body-mind-soul. Sure, there was target, and I think it’s clear that everyone else has their own challenging target, but how they chose to deal with it brought people to a different stage.
One, like me, was burnt out. Some, were fine. They didn’t crack. They stopped working when they have to. They delegated work. They stopped checking emails. They spent time with their family. They found time to get their energy worked up.
***
It does feel comfortable to be the victim of a situation. You’re not expected to do anything, you are a poor victim. You need to be rescued. I thought so too…
Until I realize that you are the one leading your life. You have control how you want to lead your life, how you build the relationship with all the things around you.
For once, ask yourself, how did you get here? What can you stop, start, continue doing that can help you get into a better stage? Ask for help, reach out to those who can extend their support to you. Maybe you need to talk to your supervisor, maybe your peers, maybe your mom, maybe a psychologist. Maybe you should uninstall some applications that waste your time, and instead find ones that can help you ease your mind and be productive.
For me, I try to take 10–15 mins break instead of forcing a back-to-back meeting. I set my phone into non-disturb mode after 11pm. I get to bed earlier and wake up earlier to do 10–15 mins exercise. I spend more time with my daughter. I postpone work that I can postpone. I start writing again! Voila!
You are in charge. Start driving.
